Friday, March 22, 2013
Frenetic fun, Stone Age family-style. Three starfish.
The Croods, the new 3D computer-animated feature release from DreamWorks Animation, is the story of a prehistoric family who take a road trip out of necessity. Patriarch Grug (Nicolas Cage) spends every day protecting his family by alternately leading them on life-endangering family hunting trips and terrifying them into staying in their tiny cave-home with stories about everything in the outside world being potentially deadly. "Never not be afraid," he says. Daughter Eep (Emma Stone) believes that's no way to live. Her sense of adventure carries her father away from the cave and her dad's controlling nature, much like any teen looking to figure out who they are. Everything changes when their cave is destroyed in the dramatic earth …
Friday, March 15, 2013
Horror, Suspense, Romance, Comedy — what will movie-goers want to see?
I'm sitting outside the Verizon Center, once again fighting for parking this week with the sports fans next door to my screening movie theatre. It reminds me, even when it matters, sometimes the winning team is a fluke, sometimes it's well deserved… As Cinema Siren is meant to "guide you through a sea of celluloid," I'd like to direct you toward the more deserving teams of filmmakers releasing something this busy week at the multiplex. With spring break upon us, this early March weekend offers an odd mix of genres, with each vying for the top spot at the box office. Best of luck to them, they'd be replacing or be added to a top 10 where only two have even 50 percent positive reviews, and some of which are so bad they should be benched like…
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Cinema Siren gives film three out of five starfish.
"I don't want to be a good man, I want to be a great one!" This declaration by James Franco as the title character of Sam Raimi's new Disney prequel could just as easily be a hope of the director's as well. Is the movie great? Is it even good? Oz the Great and Powerful is entertaining and you could do worse than to spend your time watching this interpretation of L. Frank Baum's world flash flowers and toss monkey wings in your face. But the weaknesses of it make me walk all the way to the dark edge between recommendation and warning to ponder throwing my ruby shoes into the abyss. Uh oh. Cinema Siren is damning with faint praise here, especially if you know how much sparkly shoes mean to a girl... This movie tells the story of how the …
Friday, March 1, 2013
Doesn't amount to a hill of beans; 2 out of 5 starfish.
By the time the bombastic yet tragic minor-keyed Lord of the Rings-type theme music swelled to accompany Jack The Giant Slayer's climactic battle scenes, I was tempted to flamboyantly roll my eyes in slow motion. I couldn't have cared less. This new release, that was slated for last summer and tellingly sat on the shelf until now, is exceedingly straight-ahead, uninventive and laden with special effects. It leaves the audience feeling like it spent an evening at an expensive restaurant expecting to taste some delicious, innovative dish, only to find themselves digesting a bland, flavorless Betty Crocker casserole. Not only is the cuisine uninspired, ultimately, it doesn't amount to a hill of beans. Something new? Not hardly. Jack buys …
Friday, February 22, 2013
The 85th Academy Awards air Sunday night on ABC. Who do you think will take home an Oscar this year?
Every year we watch the Oscar nominees and presenters trot down the red carpet to sit through a night where we expect them to accept their victory or defeat with equal aplomb. As laypeople, we judge their designer dresses, make up and hair, their speeches and bemoan or cheer those who win as confusing or richly deserved. We all look forward optimistically, hoping these awards will further our favorite actors, directors and other filmmakers' careers. Whether they do or not, we are always in for a mix of boredom, surprise, pretension and earnestness. Is this year going to offer anything we don't already expect? Let's take a look at the nominees, and my take on who will walk away with what…Patch is holding a virtual Oscar party you can …
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Still celebrating Valentine's Day?
Cinema Siren is a big fan of love. There's nothing more wonderful than being around those in love. It brings everyone around them up, even if the experience can be a bit of a sap-fest. Anytime I can play Cupid with a well recommended rom-com movie or charming little cafe for a Paris visit, I'm right there for it. I'm back from London just in time to help the romantically inclined or challenged. Sadly, Valentine's Day is only once a year. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be prepared to do the aural equivalent of tossing rose petals at our significant others, or put ourselves in a loving and romantic mood. I've put together a collection of scores very specifically chosen for romantic interludes. For that time you've spirited away to a bed …
Saturday, February 2, 2013
'Zom-com' film rated PG-13 for zombie violence and language.
No, it's not an ode to necrophilia. It is a charming and whimsical movie that goes deeper than anyone would expect about connectedness, trust and a willingness to change. I never thought I'd say "this zombie flick is a great date movie," but now I have. As a matter of warning, it should be rated "Z" for brain-eating zombies. Still, a large cross-section of movie lovers will enjoy it, making it a far better choice February 14th than that new Diehard (coming out that day! Wah?), for everyone from girlfriends hanging out and Twihards, to couples who don't mind a bit of edge in their flicks. Playing in Herndon at Phoenix Theaters Worldgate 9. To all those who have heard or bought into the press about it being a wannabe Twilight clone, I say …
Friday, January 25, 2013
R-rated film released Friday in movie theaters nationwide.
Sometimes a movie is just...bad. We can all watch it and see what they had in mind, how the pitch went, how the director and producers signed on, and talked some pretty big stars into taking part. And we can see the whole thing derail through to post production, delayed release, and as we watch the finished product with an ever-dwindling vestige of hope. Such is the case for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Why Cinema Siren is reviewing this movie at all is a fair question. I go on record as saying there is always a chance a good movie will find its way to the multiplex in January. Not the ones that were in limited released in LA and New York in December to qualify for the Oscars….Those are the movies everyone is busying themselves …
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Cliches eclipse acting in 'Mama,' and violence crumbles 'The Last Stand."
January. Everyone knows it is when the mediocre to the truly awful hobble off to die a quick death after beating each other senseless for a quick buck in the box office arena. When a film gets slated for release it is because there are no other contenders to fight for those dollars, or it won't survive any other time anyway. After all, everyone with any sense is scrambling to see the Oscar nominees. So one approaches January movies with a mix of optimism and dread. Two genre-specific movies are being released this week. If you are a fan of horror or ultra-violent action flicks, the studios are expecting you to gravitate away from those Oscar-nominated and towards these unproven offerings. The Last Stand is a "comeback" vehicle for Arnold…
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Academy Award nomination successes and snubs.
The 85th Academy Awards… These Oscar noms are full of the biggest surprises and snubs in a while, although there are still going to be some complete shoe-ins. Let's get to it! Will Affleck forever pay for Gigli? Argo and Zero Dark Thirty are both movies that have been highly lauded, with multiple nominations. That doesn't happen in a vacuum. What sense does it make for the directors not to get nominated as well? I speak of Ben Affleck of Argo and Kathryn Bigelow of Zero Dark Thirty, the latter of whom's exclusion is truly shocking. These directors spend the entire time the film is being made manipulating the end result and aiding the actors in getting their best performances. Without them, those wonderful movies wouldn't exist. Is it …
Dave Webster
2:20 pm on Saturday, February 23, 2013
I predict the obnoxious Seth McFarlane will be a flop. more ›