What's Your Definition of Success?

Last weekend, I happened upon a movie called the Adjustment Bureau, starring Matt Damon.  In this movie, Damon’s character plays a successful Senator named David Norris, who is riding high in political popularity.  The sky is the limit for Senator Norris, perhaps even a future run for president could be in the cards. 

One day, Norris is riding a bus and meets a woman named Elise, who he finds extraordinary and he gets her phone number.

Norris comes to find out there is an underground, presumably governmental, group of agents who control much of our destiny and that the chance encounter with Elise was never supposed to happen.  They tell him that he must not call her, take the paper with the phone number from him, and threaten him if he ever does try to contact her.

Being the strong willed person that has gotten him to where he is, Norris is not one to go away easily.  With nothing to go on but the phone number he no longer has, Norris, determined to meet this young lady again, rides the same bus day after day looking for Elise.  A few years later, he actually meets her on the bus once again.   When the agents find out about this and try to thwart his efforts, they realize he is determined.  At that, the agent assigned to Norris basically tells him that if he ends up with this woman, it will change her future.  Rather than becoming a successful choreographer, the woman would end up teaching dance to elementary school children, not to mention that it might limit his career aspirations.  Norris then has to make a decision as to whether he takes on this risk, or moves on with life as it was “supposed to be”.

When I got to this point in the movie, I asked myself the following question: What was the definition of success and what is truly valuable?   If two people who are in love get married and have a family, why does our society believe that is a step down from achieving great fame in one’s career?

Each person should have an internal compass of what success means for them. Being the leader of the country, as Norris might have become or being a renowned choreographer are great aspirations, but if the cost is not having a family, that should be an individual determination on whether or not the former or the latter is of more value.

Many people know Joe Gibbs as the multiple Super Bowl winning coach of the Washington Redskins, others may know him as the owner of a NASCAR racing team.  He has had success on many levels, but I have heard him say many times that the greatest contribution he has given to this world is through his children and grandchildren.   Why?  In my mind it is because this leaves a legacy and an opportunity for him to live on in a tangible way by sharing his values with others who can make an impact in the future.

I firmly believe that the most important thing in life is relationships with others.  Whether it is teaching others, sharing who we are, learning about them and helping them to be all they can be, nothing on this planet is more important that people and the relationships we develop, in my opinion.  There were many successful people by world standards that were married and many who weren't, but either way, those people quite often had parents that weren't well known, but raised their child to become what they were.  The value of parental contribution cannot be over emphasized.

With that said, I believe success relates to how you view yourself as well as how those close to you would view your full body of work in life.  If you are content that you have added value to the lives of others and those around you truly appreciate your contribution, then you are a success.  It doesn't matter if you are the world famous choreographer or the person that inspired the elementary school student to become the next great dancer.  It doesn't matter if you are the Senator or President if you don’t teach the next generation how to be great in their own way.  If you share who you are and what you are with others, you are success regardless of how you stack up against the best of the best.

Remember that your contribution, whether large or small by world standards, can be equally large or even grander to one, two or many people.   If you can touch one life and help make a change for the better, you have to believe that person will do the same, and so on.  The ripple effect will be much greater than you can ever envision.

Success is in the satisfaction that you did a good job and you made a difference, whether large or small.

Go make a difference.