Reality Check: A Tribute to Teachers

From My Side of the Desk:

Reality Check: A Tribute to Teachers

Teachers Are: Planners (prepping for a variety of classes); Inspirers (challenging students who run the gamut from those who are there because the state demands their attendance to those who have insatiable appetites for learning to think and to write); Analyzers: (grading mountains of papers, many during non-contract hours); Educators (offering students opportunities to stretch their minds); Communicators (handling parental and administrative concerns); Navigators (jumping the many hurdles their districts and states demand), and Learners (taking classes to earn a higher degree, to keep current in their fields, or to maintain certification). Teachers Are Not glorified babysitters.

Colleges do not train them for the realities of public school life. That required Ed. Psych class might not have covered why Jack acts so oppositional, or why Jill would rather flutter her ruby-studded zebra-striped nails in front of her teacher’s face than her essay on alienation in Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis. Is there any way college could have prepared teachers for the principal who says, “Since we can’t hit kids any more, use verbal insults, but make them subtle; I don’t want headlines,” or the one who waited three months to get back to a teacher regarding a state certification question, but who chastised this same staff member for responding to a parent in thirty-six instead of twenty-four hours? Could any class prime teachers for the rationale behind the decision to pack a teacher’s class with thirty-eight seniors when a colleague teaching the same subject has only eighteen other than, “We ask those who can to do more. Besides, the kids don’t like him.” Did college groom them for that preposterously idiotic societal idiom that states, “Those who can do; those who can’t teach”?

In order to lessen the stress from these situations and many others that cause teeth-grinding frustration, a Survival Skills 101 pamphlet should be given to all teachers at the start of each school year. This should be written, though, by veteran teachers (i.e. any person who has experienced the classroom more than a month) because only they know the realities faculties face daily. After all, I doubt too many college professors understand that coffee, the elixir of many classroom leaders, should be rationed for the three to five hours between leaving home and the chance-if the two teacher restrooms aren’t occupied-the chance to take a much-needed break. Various on-line medical sites report a surge in bladder infections in the fall because teachers sometimes have to wait hours-some a whole day- before they get a break. These same sites say to drink plenty of water. A good idea if teachers were built like camels.

The same section (Sustenance) that addresses what liquids to drink to soothe throats parched from inspiring and cajoling and what to avoid (see previous paragraph)would offer menus for lunch that avoid using the one (2 if the department is lucky) microwave. Here’s an algebra problem along the same lines as those proverbial trains that ponder when they’ll meet (even my math-challenged brain can solve this one): Say the school gives teachers a thirty-minute lunch period and eight colleagues need to heat up their lunch for three to four minutes; how much of the allotted period does this take? Twenty-four minutes! Three minutes per reheat is doable, leaving the last teacher in line six minutes to eat and use the restroom. Four? They might want to consider packing a cold lunch.

This chapter should offer menu suggestions for those educators who eat at their desks while they grade papers to avoid spending more than the national average of fifteen non-contract hours per week on school work: Do NOT eat sandwiches that drip (oil and vinegar, juice from sliced tomatoes, chunks of mayo-covered chicken or tuna) while grading assessments unless you want to decorate the papers with more than a “Good Job” sticker. Also, it will remind teachers to shun everything bagels, spinach, and garlic if they want their afternoon classes to stay on-task.

 A Tactics section of this Survival Skills 101 class should give pointers on how to make those 50 copies for a quiz on Animal Farm on the lone copier utilized by a minimum of fifty colleagues without resorting to sliding into school in the pre-dawn hours or waiting until dusk when the machine has cooled off from continuous use. A Logistics chapter could reveal how to fit 32 kids into a space meant for the theoretical ideal of 20 students and how the teacher can navigate the space without tripping over the straps of one of the 32 accompanying backpacks, sprawling onto the floor and fracturing a kneecap.

A Recognition section would reiterate that Administrative Assistants, Custodians and the Technology Department deserve the teachers’ utmost respect. Administrative Assistants run the school. A friendly, “Good morning,” and an occasional chat about their families will: Garner a teacher that last ream of copy paper five minutes before the bell when he/she desperately needs 50 copies for that period’s test. AAs will squeeze in a meeting with the principal about the mouthy kid in Period 5 that the teacher wants to hang by his thumbs when everyone else thinks the administrator is, “Lunching with the superintendent,” and insure a heads up on Monday morning when the head honcho is checking out the “teaching going on” and you planned Silent Reading Time while you unscrambled your weekend sleep-deprived brain.

Custodians can make faculty’s lives heaven or hell. To keep their days heavenly, teachers should always pick up the day’s detritus left by students, make sure that the room’s trash cans aren’t the result of a “How High Can We Pile the Junk Before It Spills” contest, clean their own white boards and deliver home baked goods to their break room before holidays. This guarantees: A bottle of white board cleaner when everyone else is told to, “Buy your own. The district hasn’t authorized us to hand out our supply to teachers,” more desks from their secret stash when the counselors have blessed the teacher with five more students than he/she has seats for, and a sweet, cushioned office chair fresh off the truck before they send out an All Staff email to, “Come and get one.”

The Technology Department should be showered with smiles. They save teachers’ sanity by: Fixing the connection between the classroom computer and television so the teacher can show that PowerPoint he/she spent a gazillion non-contract hours designing, find the IGPro folder that frustratingly disappeared twenty minutes before grades are due, and patiently show a novice how to access the site with sample state SOL tests when he/she gets nothing but a blank screen.

An all-important Constructive Communications segment will reveal tactics to work with parents who exhibit every emotion from Abetting to Indifferent to Supportive to Zealous, and the most micro-managing and intimidating administrators. It will use actual situations and will role model what to say when and how to phrase thoughts/responses, as well as when to stay quiet.

Lastly, it will have an Inspirations chapter with anecdotes and quotes from students who acknowledge the sacrifices their teachers made for them, the challenges that motivated them to push though the tough time academically and socially, the times their teachers proved to be their sole advocates, and the vast amount of time and energy their teachers expended to make them feel special, listened to and appreciated.

Teachers need all of the support they can get. Those who can and care do teach and do make a difference, enabling everyone else to be all that they can or want to be. For those who question this premise, here is a challenge: Fill your family room with 25-30 children who exhibit a wide range of emotional, maturity and on-task behavior as well as varied academic prowess and learning styles (visual, auditory and kinesthetic). Have them learn a craft, watch a movie, play a game, or accomplish any activity of your choice that you planned for and have to analyze when the time is up. Do this over a two day period with a different set of young people four times for eighty-seven minutes and once for fifty-five minutes. Are you still sane?

I wish all who teach a restful, revitalizing and much deserved spring break from teaching, one of the most honorable professions.

Until next week,

Connie

www.teachitwrite.com