Allergy Alert: Excuses exceed pollen count

From My Side of the Desk:

Allergy Alert: Excuses Exceed Pollen Count

To paraphrase an old adage, “Spring has sprung, the grass is riz, now’s the time for excuses to fizz.” No, not fizzle out like a 4th of July sparkler, (which would be a good thing), but fizzle over the top like a Coke on steroids. Do excuses succumb to the heat and humidity of summer? Are they raked up and scrunched into oversized lawn bags and dragged to the curb on trash pick-up days in the fall? Does the cold north wind turn them into wasted-breath popsicles during the frigid days of winter? No, no and no. Excuses are not a seasonal plague, but perennial blights that raise blood pressure levels, cause hair loss (from pulling it out in frustration), inflict nerve damage and intensify the sense of smell. After all, something is definitely rotten in the state of Relationships when excuses reign.

Excuses are like attitudes. Everyone has one. From the earliest of recorded time, people have polluted the air with one or two ridiculous rationalizations when their sense of responsibility has fled the scene, no matter the season.  Eve’s, “The snake made me do it,” ranks at the top of eye-rolling reactions as does the alibi of a former D.C. mayor, “The woman (I chose not to use the B word he so loudly spewed into the annals of history) set me up,” and the defense of a former President, “I didn’t inhale.”

Although I have prided myself on my firm NO EXCUSES policy in my personal and professional lives, I must admit, that I, too, have aggravated my own allergy attacks when a few inconsiderate justifications have overridden my sense of responsibility, reliability and my respect for those people who count on me, including myself. Over the years, I have used writer’s block as an excuse for not working on a manuscript when I don’t even believe in this malady. If I were honest with myself at those times, I would admit that I suffered from procrastination, trepidation for the work it would take to type over 100,000 words, or the lack of desire to do the research that the topic needed. Probably all three.

Other times, my weak reasoning has sadly been the cause of deflated shoulders and sighs of disappointment in my family and students.  I am responsible for uttering, “We’re having sandwiches and not a roast because the meat didn’t defrost in time,” instead of, “I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to that. I forgot to take it out of the freezer before I went to work, though,” and, “I’m not handing back the essays today because a few students turned theirs in late and I would rather return them all at once,” when I should have said, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t read them last night.” Thankfully, these pathetic substitutes for the truth have been few and far between. I don’t like myself very much when I fall victim to their lameness.

Neither do I like being on the receiving end, and after about 4,500 days as a teacher, I’ve suffered from more Excuses Allergy attacks than I can count. Here are a few favorites from students because at least their creativity eased my irritation:

• I didn’t complete the project because you have enough to grade and I was thinking about how hard you work.
• I made my essay into a paper boat to symbolize Chris’s need for one (we were reading Into the Wild), but it sunk during the torrential rain that flooded my basement last night.
• My dog was tired of being called dumb. He ate it to get smart.

Administrators are not immune from aiding and abetting this allergy, either. A few years ago I turned in a plagiarism referral on a young lady who turned in Lord Byron’s “She Walks in Beauty” for her poetry assignment. When I showed her this same poem in a British Lit anthology, she said, “I can’t help it that he thought the same thing that I did,” even after I pointed out that Byron wrote this a few hundred years ago. A few weeks later, I saw her administrator in the hall and asked about the outcome of the referral. He said, “I don’t have time for this until you talk with her about plagiarism.” My referral had detailed how I had already done this.

Another time I was up for recertification. In Virginia, teachers have specific requirements to meet every five years to stay certified. I wanted to use a compilation of 100 worksheets that reinforce student understanding of the elements of literature that I had turned into a 135-page book, Get R.E.A L. which I sold to educators around the country. Because I knew that this met two of the five possible standards without question, in late September I asked my administrator to okay my request so I could get it behind me. By November first, I sent this person an email, following it up in December and January when I had heard nothing but, “I’m still checking into it”.  

Near the end of January, I was told that I couldn’t use it and would have to take a class (since any course the county offered for free or at minimal charge was full, I would have to pay about $1,000 out of pocket), but that I could check with my HR representative to be sure. Within minutes, that lady, at least, quickly noted that my book did meet the requirements and she saw no reason why it couldn’t be used, but that my administrator had to sign off on it. That afternoon, a Friday, I approached the head principal with my problem and frustration with how long this had taken. I was told that my supervisor was, “New to this responsibility.” When I asked what would happen to me if I waited three and a half months to get back to a parent about a concern, I was immediately asked to leave my paperwork on the desk. Over the weekend, I got an email that it was signed. On Monday I mailed it; a week later, the state had sent me my certificate. Talk about a major Excuses Allergy attack! That was probably the worst ever.

When they don’t want to take responsibility or to face tough, and often, uncomfortable situations, be they  politicians, movie stars, professional athletes, or whomever,  no one is immune from inciting an allergic reaction to their excuses. Democrats blame the Republicans and Republicans blame the Democrats for the ways they put the lives and livelihoods of their constituents at risk. Excuses like, “The heart wants what it wants,” “I had other priorities,” “It was a wardrobe malfunction,” and the most infamous, “I was obeying orders,” have insulted our minds, hearts and souls from time immemorial. Phrases like, If I:  had a good education, got a break, made more money, had a supportive family, was appreciated by my boss, etc, etc drip on our heads like acid rain. As Rudyard Kipling said, “We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.”

Only twice have I heard people stand tall against the insidious Excuses Allergy. Oh, I’m sure more exist, but my mind can dredge up only these paraphrased versions: “I’m not going to offer any excuses. We played like crap and didn’t deserve to win (Joe Paterno after a Penn State loss) and President Harry Truman’s, “The buck stops here.” Oh, what I would give to hear people at the forefront of fame and authority say, “I’m sorry. It was my responsibility and I flubbed it,” and stop excuses that threaten to pour from their mouths.

        Responsibility + Leadership= Credibility.

Not one medical researcher has come up with a cure for this allergy. A shot of Responsibility, maybe? Or a No Excuses transdermal patch? An anonymous quotation that I found on the Internet states, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” I’ve always wanted to be good for something instead of good for nothing, so I will continue to fight being the cause of an Excuse Allergy attack in those I encounter on my life’s journey, and I will rail against those that cause my eyes to itch and my nose to clog with congestion. That’s the least I can do.

Until next week,

Connie
www.teachitwrite.com